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Goodr

Frequent Skymall Shoppers - Mach G's by Goodr

  • Sale
  • $ 35


NO SLIP. NO BOUNCE. ALL POLARIZED. ALL FUN.

We designed these shades to look good(r) and stay comfortably on your face whether you’re haulin’ ass down a mountain trail or drinking beers in a Mexican cantina. Quite simply the best looking running sunglasses you can buy for less than $50.

Our MACH Gs are a classic aviator style made to give you the speed if you feel the need. Plus, this smooth, sleek frame means no unsightly imprints on your nose from those weird nose pads on traditional metal aviator frames.

Features:

  • No Slip: We use special grip coating and silicone nose inserts to construct our frame to help eliminate slippage when sweating.
  • No Bounce: Our frame is flight-weight to prevent bouncing when running, biking, beasting, or exceeding speeds of Mach 5.*
    *Not tested at hypersonic speed, but…we’re pretty sure.
  • All Polarized: The speed of light got nothing on you. These glare-reducing, polarized lenses with UV400 protection blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
  • All Speed: An all new shape built to give you the ultimate speed advantage whether you're crushing beers or crushing your competition.
  • Lens: UV400 Protection
  • Color: Blue with Grey Lens
  • Color Name: Frequent Skymall Shoppers
  • Free Mile High Club Membership - Included with purchase.

A VERY SKYMALL CHRISTMAS

Jayden and Kayla woke up Christmas morning

And ran to their gifts with elation

That faded when they read a jaded note warning:

“Please lower your damn expectations.”

 

“My elves went on strike, and they make the toys,

I was so mad I punched my wall.

But then I found a magazine and rejoiced --

Here’s some crap from Skymall.”

 

Jayden hoped that what Santa wrote wasn’t true

And his presents would be super neat

But no, he got a Yeti garden statue

And a glow-in-the-dark toilet seat

 

As for Kayla, she felt overwhelming despair

The presents made her want to cry

She got a laser helmet for regrowing hair

And a watch saying what time she’ll die

 

“But wait,” said Jayden. “Let’s go check our stockings!

They might have treats or toy soldiers!”

But the offerings inside the stockings were shocking:

Dog lips and umbrella holders.

 

“Damnit!” said Kayla. “This year is so fucked!”

And just when she was at her maddest,

Jayden found two gifts hiding by the sofa:

Frequent Skymall Shoppers sunglasses

 

The note said “To Jayden and Kayla from C.,

A flamingo who loves to drink beer

Here’s sunnies, good buddies! Do one thing for me,

Be extremely naughty next year.”